So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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