We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
