Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
