i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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