Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
