I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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