She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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