You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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