His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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