glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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