Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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