Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
