Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
