ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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