i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize