Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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