How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
