I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
