Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
