I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
