some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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