from now on my penis is your penis
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
