A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
