I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
