I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
