RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
