My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize