Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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