I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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