Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
