Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When are your genitals available?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
