Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
