And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
