I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
