so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
