i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
