he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
