I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
