Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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