Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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