He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
