It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
