My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
