You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
