i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize