Barsexuality is the new black.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
