How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
