How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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