Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
