I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
