Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
