OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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