So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize