How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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