I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Even my vagina gasped.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
