walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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