EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
