Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize