gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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