let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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