You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
