I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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