Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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