i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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